Question by Universal Standard: Opening up to my gf at couples therapy?
So recently, I’ve hooked up again with my ex-gf from my first years of college (like 10 years ago?) and we’re really trying to make this work, she’s given up her choice of drugs, coke and crystal and I’ve given up smoking pot and drinking, we even go to couples therapy now. Apparently, the therapist wants us to share what we’ve been up to for the past ten years to bring us closer and I really want to tell her everything, but back when we were dating, she was pretty conservative, I mean sex in dark and missionary only conservative, and now she used to do drugs like it was going out of style, so I know shes changed but I’m not sure it’s enough to share all the shit I’ve done during my 20′s. So I’ll gonna list some stuff here and just tell me if I should keep any of it from my gf so she doesn’t leave or worse relapse into tina (crystal). I trust you guys since I used to hang here and you seem pretty normal, plus u don’t know me which is a bonus because I really wouldn’t share this with my closest friends in fear of a loss of our friendship over disgust.
1) Back when 9/11 happened I signed on to the marines because I was a “brown person” and I wanted to prove I wasn’t a terrorist (stupid right?) which was especially hard in NYC.
2) I’ve killed anywhere between 5 to 25 people, most were college kids from Syria who considered themselves “freedom fighters” and came to Iraq to help the Taliban and such.
3) I once knifed a guy in the arm and then in the neck when he tried to ambush me in the top of the stairs in a building, I felt nothing when I killed him, it haunts me to this day not because it was a bad thing or how bloody it was, but because I felt nothing when I killed him, no regret, no satisfaction, no fear, no remorse, nothing at all.
4) I bummed around Europe on a Gizzer 750 for 4 months afterward, I’ve traveled through all of Europe, but I’ve never done any touristy things, I didn’t even talk to anyone there, just rode.
5) I’ve slept with anywhere between 25 and 45 hookers in Amsterdam over the course of 9 weeks, I was high or drunk the entire time and went on this “vacation” with my best friend from High School.
6) Whenever I have nightmares about Iraq or a panic attack when I see a gun or a middle eastern male, I take some xanax or smoke some pot, neither were prescribed to me.
7) I haven’t seen my parents since I was 18, (I told her I was an orphan), they weren’t bad people, just too normal for me, I wanted to be “wild and outlandish, different” so I left for NYU and worked for tuition.
I once banged a post-op transvestite when we were dating, I was really drunk so I don’t remember it but it happened.
9) I was a carny for 1 season, I did more drugs in those few months then all of the rest of my life put together.
10) I can’t see myself ever having a family with you, I love you but I’ll never have kids.
11) A girl I once banged and got pregnant had an abortion because she was about to undergo chemo for malignant breast cancer, my “daughter” was 22 weeks old.
12) I was once in a cult, right after the marines, it was the only time that I felt that I belonged.
13) I did work for a private military company for a while, it wasn’t particularly eventful but I hoped I would die every day I got into that truck, just put me out of my fucken misery and end all the bullshit I had immersed myself in.
14) I’ve wanted to marry you since the day I met you, and felt that my purpose in life ended when we broke up.
I know these are fucked up but these are some of the large ones I want to get off my chest, some make sense, others don’t but I find relevance in all of them and I want it to be known.
Best answer:
Answer by Nick I
Thanks for fighting for the country even if you thought it was a dumb idea after the fact.
However I am not a big fan of marriage or couples therapy. You can meet someone that you’ll get along with and not need therapy.
If you’re at the therapy stage, time to move on because it’s never going to work.. face it, by that point you hate and resent each other and always will.
So go find a person that you are actually compatible with. Yeah it might take a few people to find the right one, but chalk them all up to life experiences that make you a better person
What do you think? Answer below!
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